Friday, June 17, 2011

Having a feminist/civil rights/pride kinda moment

After watching a documentary called "Trained in The Ways of Men", a reporter brought up some good questions.
1) Are you a man or a woman?
2) How do you know if you are a man or a woman?
3) What makes you a man or a woman?
These are all very good questions. What does it really mean to be a man or a woman? Is it what society tells to be. Would I be considered "butch" or manly because I enjoy muscle cars and getting dirty, and as a child I enjoyed playing with "boy" toys and would wrestle with the boys. Why do boys have to only play with blue toys, tractors, cars, anything "masculine". But, if a boy were to play with Barbies or want to play dress up, he would be called a fag. But this is what society has trained us to do. Why can't we all just be who we are. As a child I had both "boy" and "girl" toys. I liked the boy toys better, but this didn't effect my sexuality as some in society try to speculate.
If someone were to ask me what it means to be a woman, I wouldn't quite know how to answer. My best answer wouldn't include because I have a vagina, it would be more along the lines of the majority of what I am drawn to is female in societies eyes.
Why do we associate pink with girls and blue with boys? What genius came up with that idea? That is what started it all. When I have kids and if I have a son and he says that he wants a tutu and princess heels, then that is what he will get. I'm not going to let society choose their sexual identity, I will let them choose for themselves.
Watching that documentary reminded me of how passionate I use to be about these issues and that I need to get more involved again. People need to be more educated. Children need to be more educated on sexuality and not just in the sexual intercourse part but what it means to be gay/bi/trans. We have to end homophobia and transphobia. My heart goes out to all these folks that feel like they will never belong or are always scared to admit who they are because someone might assault them and potentially kill them.
We need more resources out there for families and friends of gay and transgender people. I wish I had the resources to open a facility to teach the community and a place for LGBT people of all ages can come to talk to counselors or even to share their stories to the younger LGBT and their families.
Just think about those three questions and try to answer them as best you can. It's harder than it seems!

 LGBT Rights
Q Center

"Straight Americans need an education of the heart and soul. They must understand - to begin with - how it can feel to spend years denying your own deepest truths, to sit silently through classes, meals, and church services while people you love toss off remarks that brutalize your soul. ~Bruce Bawer "

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Selfish People Suck

So many of you know or don't, but there have been many problems with Frank's family recently. He wants them at the wedding and so do I. They seem to have this crazy notion that we don't want them there. They also think that because they're not in the bridal party that they're not special or part of the wedding. News flash some of you were asked to be in the bridal party but gave it up because I am not going to pay for your attire! I am not made of money and neither are my parents that's why I'm doing a lot of DIY projects. Another funny thing that they think is that the officiant, whom is my cousin, is actually going to ask if anyone objects. Sorry, but that is something that is not really a regular part of the wedding and won't be part of my wedding. Anyone who thinks they're gonna ruin OUR day and OUR wedding has another thing coming. Anybody in my family can tell you I am not one to piss off. You fuck with me I will destroy you! My family is happy for us and if Frank's family doesn't want to be happy for us then they can fuck off. This is going to be the happiest day of our lives and we only want happy positive people around us. Oh and if anyone has a problem with me say to me, not to my fiance. That just screams immaturity and people that obviously haven't grown up yet. Choose your battles wisely because this is one bitch you don't want to piss off!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Enough is enough!!

First I would like to say that my wedding is about Frank and I, and what makes us happy. It is not about anyone else. All of our family members are invited and our closest friends too.
I am tired of Frank's family treating me like shit. I did nothing to deserve this disrespect. You guys aren't in my bridal party because you're not my blood or my close friend. Sorry, I am always going to chose them over anyone else. It is my day and I get to chose who stands up there with me. If you don't like it tough shit keep it to yourself.
On another note, I am entitled to my own opinion. No one needs to care what I think that is why it is my opinion. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I would never tell them I don't care what they think because I might think something different and my mother raised me to be respectful of other people's beliefs.
Also, there will be NO racism at my wedding. Anyone who disrespects this will not only probably get cussed out in Portuguese but, will be asked to leave! I was born bi-racial and I am proud of it. I love being something other than just white!
There are many differences between Frank's family and my family. I believe that I am not disrespectful for wanting my wedding my way and they believe that just being a guest isn't enough. I'm just so annoyed with the stress that I'm just saying fuck it! It's my day and people can chose to be happy for us or not. Just keep your negativity to yourselves. If you all want details on the wedding just ask, don't just assume things.
Bridesmaids are: Lauren Williams, Lauren Oliver, and Maritza Montoya
Groomsmen are: Justin Goemaere, David Jackson, and Wade Johnson
Flowergirl is: Iris Roy
Ring Bearer is: Emerson Roy
Officiant is: Jennifer Babcock
I still need someone to watch the guest book and two people to be ushers.
Readings will be from Jason Roy, Daniel Roy, Misty Brewer, Perry Lederer, and Daisy Stratemeyer(if she attends the wedding)
Everyone has a part in the wedding in some way. Being a guest is being a part of our wedding, so get over yourselves!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Update on my life and the wedding

So, as many people know I am getting married and I also graduated college, woot! There were several bumps in the wedding planning in the beginning. Some bridesmaids dropped out but were given other VIP jobs, and another was thrown out due to way too much drama for me to handle. But at last we have the final line up and I couldn't ask for better ladies!! I have my best lady aka MOH Lauren Williams, she is my right hand woman and has been there for me when I needed her most in this stressful ordeal; next is my cousin Lauren Oliver, I love her so much and I am so happy that she is going to be standing up there on my special day; and of course my sister from another mister Tessa Wadsworth, also very excited she is going to be sharing this very special day with me. My cousin Jenny is marrying Frank and I, words cannot describe how grateful I am she accepted to do this. And of course my niece Iris and Frank's niece Betty are our flower girls, and my oldest nephew Emerson is our ringbearer. Frank's groomsmen are his brother Perry, his oldest nephew Jacob, and his brother from another mother Justin. I never realized how much time and energy goes into planning a wedding, especially when you're on a tight budget. However, after emailing what seemed like 100 venues and photographers and caterers, I found my places that met my budget and my dream wedding. I have all the vendors picked out and I even found affordable dresses for my girls. Now if only I could decide on the issue of suits vs tuxes. This year has also been off to a rocky start, a day after my birthday my pup Itty Bitty passed away to a horrible tragic accident. Since then I haven't really felt like doing much but, I know I need to get my ass in gear. I still have so much to do and only 5 months left. Good news though, Frank finally got his GED and now he is going to college to get his AAOT degree, very excited and happy for him. I am still job hunting but it's slim pickings right now. I've decided that when Frank is done with school I want to go back to either be a paramedic or a midwife. I just want to be able to give back as much as possible and know that at the end of the day that I was able to help many people. My health has also taken a toll on my mood lately too. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia over a month ago and they put me on muscle relaxers and all they seem to do is make me sleep all damn day. I hate the muscle spasms and the muscle pain but sleeping all day isn't worth relieving some of it. This weekend I go see my wedding planner and if I remember maybe I'll get on here and post about it. But don't hold your breath, I'm really bad at blogging.